the so called nostalgic love.

I heard this kind of love from a somewhat cheesy video that I watched recently. It’s the kind of love that you felt for someone sometime in your past. Your childhood love, your high school sweetheart, or your recent ex. But now your love is nothing but a distant memory, preserved in a time that neither of you could touch but you both know it was there. Back in those days, you were certain of your love. It was as real as it could get. It was the love you knew, the love you wanted, and needed at that particular point in your life.

But as certain as the changing of the seasons, somewhere along the way, your love changed. As you grew older, your choices drive you apart. That season in your lives when you needed someone like each other is over. And the best choice you have is to move forward. Otherwise, you will both be stuck in a place where you are no longer supposed to be and you will only end up destroying each other.

So leave it be. Believe that it was good while it lasted. And while it didn’t last, the lessons you learned will be valuable reminders to keep you on your track as you go along your journey. Indeed, some people are meant to be in our lives for a reason, and sometimes only for a certain season.

Once in a while, you will smile at the remembrance of that young, and sometimes foolish love. You will laugh at the memory of your silly old self. And that love will be left with that old self as it forms a fragment of your history.

Midnight Hunger Pangs (A Quarterlife Reflection on Life and Love)

Funny how everything seems unchanged on the surface. But when you look closer and deeper, you just realize that you are no longer the same person from a few months ago. You don’t know what triggered the change. Even you did not see it coming.

Love. Relationships. It all begins with hope. You hope that the love will be forever, and that the relationship will hopefully be the last and will last a lifetime. Then life happens.

People get in the way of your happiness. You fight. Because only one of you can win. You fight until you no longer know what you are fighting for. And then you just get tired.

Chances and choices. You are given chances. But the choices you make are not always wise. You blame it on ignorance, on being young, on the world. On yourself. And pain is inevitable. People are hurt by your choices. Or by your refusal to choose. You get hurt in the process. In trying to keep everything, you end up hurting people. You end up hurting yourself.

When you look back, you’ll realize how you could have avoided all the pain. If only.

Maybe this is what you get for trying to fix something that should have been left broken. Should you blame yourself for attempting to try just one more time? And for falling back into the same pattern, when clearly it was a complicated mess from the start?

But then, maybe pain is necessary. You really have to know sadness, so you’ll recognize happiness when it comes.

Maybe everything was meant to happen, to take you where you’re supposed to be. A little older. And I hope a little wiser.

You loved the adventure. The rollercoaster ride. But when it’s all over, you start questioning if it was even real.

There were signs, but you were too blind to see. Too stubborn to acknowledge them. Maybe, you deliberately ignored them. Because you were scared. Too scared, even to listen to your own honesty. Too weak to let go.

So here you are. Crushed. Confused. Angry. Bitter. Happy. And relieved. All at the same time.

And of course, there’s still a flicker of hope. You still hope that a few years down the road everything will fall into place. And that everyone involved will just be happy wherever life leads them.

Maybe that’s just the way life goes. Sometimes people grow together. Sometimes they grow apart. It doesn’t mean they were never important to you. Maybe you’re just no longer headed for the same path. Too alike before. Too different now. And as you go along, you’ll still encounter each other. Travelling on parallel paths but never meeting at the same point.

And as you continue to hope for that happy ever after, you just keep the faith. Sometimes when you let go, that’s when you redeem yourself.

Sometimes letting go, and just letting life happen is the smartest choice you can make. When you let go and just let the Universe take control, that’s when everything falls exactly where they are supposed to be.

ralphreveals asked: Hello, girl! =)

Hey. You found my stagnant blog. :)

hello again.

hey tumblr. how have you been? it’s been a while. a lot has changed since my last post. got a new job now. and yes i’m now working for the biggest tv network in the country. cool eh? and i thought this moment will never come. took me long enough. more than a decade of dreaming. everything really happens in God’s perfect time. all the roads that seem to go nowhere, all the random decisions that don’t seem to fit. they actually lead you to where you’re supposed to be. so be patient. and have faith. always have faith even when it’s impossible to see where all these arrows are pointing.

that thing called PASSION

i’m lost. there used to be a time when i was so sure where my life is headed. i have planned for everything. college. course. career path. but here i am some twenty-something regular yuppie lost in the metro traffic. leading a pretty regular life. stressful commute. work overload. (or underload?) carbo loading. day in. day out. on autopilot. questioning what’s this life for? where do i fit in the grand scheme of things.

oh well. maybe i’m just thinking too much. way too much.

i only want one thing i guess. to find my real passion. something i could bear doing for the rest of my life. without getting bored. without getting tired of it. or maybe i have found my real passion already. i’m just scared. like i’ve always been. maybe i need some dose of believing in myself.

or maybe i just need some sleep. good night world. :)

Wondering why I just flooded your dashboard with old entries from my other blog?

Because I’ll be deleting my old blog “Rawr: Rants, Raves, and Randomness”. Officially, mas love ko na Tumblr. Na dating hindi ko pinapansin at medyo hindi ko trip. Haha. So I’m closing my blogger account. Can’t maintain two blogs. I’m busy. Or at least pretending to be. Haha.

Off to work now. Ciao! :)

On Guardian Angels

nakakatuwa naman yung website na napuntahan ko. sabi dun ang principal guardian angel ko daw ay si archangel gabriel, the special messenger of God. ayon pa rin sa site na yun, ang mensahe sa kin ni angel gabriel goes something like this, “you have an important life purpose involving communication and the arts.please don’t allow insecurities to hold you back. i will help you.” 
 

wow. how swakto could it be, bilang communication arts ang degree ko. so maybei chose the right path after all. yes, maybe i did. becausei followed my heart years back when i insisted on choosing which course to take up. and at this point siguro tama lang din na ituloy ko na ang gusto kong gawin-to further my studies in the field i have chosen. could this be my Supreme Creator telling me to go ahead with it and drop the insecurities that have been holding me back?

bukod kay angel gabriel, meron pa raw akong dalawang minor angels-angel rosetta and angel azure.

angel rosetta says, “you have a gift for working with young people and yourdivine purposeinvolves helping, teaching, or parenting children.”

another wow for that. the message is again swakto. it was delivered to me at this point in my life when i’m seriously considering the fact that perhaps one of my life’s missions is to teach. pagpasok ng taong ito, it slowly dawned on me that my life’s events have been pointing me to that certain direction.

and finally, angel azure says that “your desired outcome will come in the very near future. have patience and faith, and don’t try to force it to happen.” patience and faith. two things i truly need, with emphasis on patience. i have always had faith especially during the “dark ages” when it was the only thing i could hang on to. but when it comes to patience, i admit, i s**k at it.

hindi ko alam kung ano naging basis ng website na yun. i don’t even know if i should trust the person who operates the site. but if anything, i’m still grateful for the messages. they are so timely. and they will help a lot. 

with that, i think i’ma go ahead and take a chance on the dreams that have always been in my heart all this time.

this is me believing, and keeping the faith..

*originally posted on my old blog last January 26, 2011